I’ve been seeing a lot of “which quarantine house would you choose?” memes. If you enjoy these, then great! I’m not here to rain on your parade. Nothing to see here.
Speaking for myself, these memes are a little underwhelming. Just because a house contains your favorite dog/character/books/etc. does not mean you will enjoy being stuck there for weeks on end. In general, I would want more information and context.
So, on this night plagued by insomnia, I decided to take one such meme and make up a flash fiction about each one.
- Sherlock makes a bunch of derogatory comments about women in general, applying them to the two specific women he is trapped with. Hermione is irritated at Sherlock’s attitude toward her and Elizabeth, but also can’t help but want him to acknowledge her intellect, because she grudgingly admires his. Elizabeth Bennet locks herself in her room with a book and some instant ramen and reminds herself that murdering her housemates is inadvisable. When the quarantine ends, every one of them hopes fervently to never meet either of the others ever again.
- Jane and Harry are shy about interacting, but Scout’s restlessness awaken Jane’s governessly instincts, and they bond. Harry is slower to open up, feeling a little out of place for a while, but eventually Scout explodes an egg in the microwave, and in the ensuing hilarity, the ice is broken. They settle into a comfortable companionship that becomes a lasting friendship.
- Jo and Snape get off on the wrong foot, and spend the first week constantly at each other’s throats. Eventually, sometime in the second week, they realize that their energy is much more useful put into bedroom activities. Gandalf steals all the blankets and couch cushions and builds a pillow fort that is magically soundproof. They all go their separate ways after the quarantine, relieved to be free.
- Initially, Jon and Gatsby hit it off. Gatsby and Anne get off on the wrong foot from the start, so Anne spends most of her time avoiding the both of them. Into the second week, Jon and Gatsby’s quick friendship is already fraying, as they realize they don’t have as much in common as they thought. In this tension, Jon finds Anne sulking in a corner, and she reminds him of Arya, so he talks to her. They bond, and while Jon does not want to alienate Gatsby, Gatsby ends up feeling like the odd one out anyway. Jon remains in touch with both after the quarantine, more often with Anne at first, though their correspondence fizzles out. His correspondence with Gatsby is more constant, but never stops being distantly polite.
- Khal Drogo attempts to kill Edward Cullen out of boredom, and is alarmed when his target proves to have superhuman powers. Clearly Cullen is a witch, and war must be waged. Bellatrix passes the time by playing double agent for both sides, pitting them against each other until her conniving proves no match for Drogo’s bloodlust.
- I have no idea what happened here as the only member of this group I am familiar with is Tintin. I suppose they have adventures. Sounds fun!
- Hazel, isolated from her family for no good reason, dies in accordance with Murphy’s law. Louisa is traumatized. Margo blocks the whole experience from her memory.
- Draco attempts to recruit Quentin and Gus as his cronies. When this fails, he tries to turn them against each other. When this fails too, he sulks in his room while Quentin and Gus become friends, bonding mostly over their mutual distaste for Draco.
- Neither Lord Voldemort nor Khaleesi submit to a measly quarantine, given that Voldy is immortal and Khaleesi can throw herself into an autoclave if necessary. They immediately identify each other as a formidable foe and set about building armies for their imminent war. Frodo’s survival instincts kick in immediately upon glimpsing them, and he hides in the cellar and goes undiscovered.
I hope this gives somebody entertainment. It certainly gave me some.
If anyone else has turned these memes into stories, please send me the link! Or if you want to do so now, send me the link or share your stories in the comments!
Stay safe, everyone!
Category: Stories and Me